Kishules
by KidaNoche
Summary: A parody of Hercules by Disney with Tokyo Mew Mew. No, not a crossover. ICHIKISH! That's all I can really say... On temporary hiatus. : I'm sorry, I'll take it off hiatus soon as I can.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers… Nor Kish… Nor Ichigo… Nor any of them characters… OR HERCULESE GEEZ GET OUTTA MY HAIR I JUST WANNA WRITE A FANFICTION!

LOL

And sorry if the character placing sucks, I work with what I got, and you don't want any OCs, do you?

K...I...S...H...U...L...E...S

Tasuku yawned behind his seven-year-old hand and snuggled under his covers. His foster mother, Ringo, tucked him in and planted a kiss on his forehead. "Sweet dreams, son-"

"Wait, mom, I want a bedtime story…"

"Really?"

"Yes…"

Ringo sighed. Only for her son. "Okay, this story happened long ago, in ancient Greece…"

The Duke- AKA the Narrator- sighed, clearing his throat. "Ahem- Long ago, in the faraway land of Ancient Greece, it was the Golden Age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. But the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Kishules. But what is the measure of a true hero? Now, that is what our story is-

Pudding interrupted with a very over-exasperated sigh. "Will you _listen_ to him? He's making the story sound like some Greek tragedy! No way, na no da." Mint rolled her eyes playfully.

"Yeah, lighten up!"

Berry took a power stance. "We'll take it from here."

The Duke sighed again, disappearing like all good little royalty should.

Berry continued. "We are the Mew Mews, goddesses of the arts, and proclaimers of heroes."

Mint rolled her eyes again. "Heroes like Kishules."

Pudding did a quick acrobatic trick. "You mean KISSules," she laughed.

Berry rolled her eyes as well. "Our story ACTUALLY starts WAY before Kishules. Many, many, many, many, MANY years ago." She started walking down some stairs, and the other four followed. "Back when the world was new, the planet Earth was way outta luck, and everywhere huge brutes called Titans ran amuck."

Pudding twirled, trying to catch up. "It was a stinky place! A mess wherever you stepped."

Berry took up her leading role again. "Where chaos ruled and earthquakes and volcanoes never slept."

"And then along came Ryou!" they all shouted.

Berry rolled her eyes- it was a habit they all had. "He hurled his computers and-"

"-Locked those suckers in a trap!" Pudding giggled.

"And that stopped chaos in its tracks!" they all shouted again. "And that's the gospel truth! It was grade A so they just relaxed!"

"And that's the world's first plate," Zakuro added quietly.

"Yeah!" a certain little monkey interrupted.

"So Zeus attained the globe while still in his youth!" Lettuce smiled.

"And though it may seem impossible, that's the gospel truth," they all shouted again-again. "On Mount Tokyo life was easy, and smooth, and sweet. And though it may seem impossible, that's the gospel truth."

K...I...S...H...U...L...E...S

I know the first chapter sucks, but that's because it's a song. Next ch. is the story. Yeah. I promise.


	2. Baby Showers, Horses, and Plots Oh My!

OK, I know that I said Zeus at the end of the last chap, but that was a mistake; I meant Ryou

OK, I know that I said Zeus at the end of the last chap, but that was a mistake; I meant Ryou. Sorry for the long wait, HONEST I AM!

Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. Nor does my friend Mary. Because if we did, Ichigo and Kish would be an item. And Masaya would die. A horrible, painful death. And then we'd bring him back to life. And kill him again. SORRY to all you Masaya lover out there… Really, tho' Mary won't admit it, the only reason we resent him is because he stole Ichigo from Kish.

This chapter goes out to her, Mary, because she is totally and supremely awesome in every way and she knows it. She totally supports my story; LUFF YA MAR!

Enough with my rambling; on with the story!

K…I…S…H…U…L…E…S

Various gods and goddesses lingered about the party, chatting it up and drinking nectar and ambrosia. Over by the huge pile of gifts stood the 'proud' parents, Head Goddess Miwa, and Head God Ryou. Ryou himself was grimacing at the child in his wife' arms.

"He looks NOTHING like me… Are you sure you didn't have an affair or something?" he sighed. Miwa just spared him a Look before turning back to her precious child. He opened his adorably large, yellow eyes and stared innocently up at her. The green fuzz on the top of his head did nothing to cover his large, pointy, sticky-out ears.

"My baby boy…" she sighed. "What should we name him?"

Ryou shrugged, trying to think of something sentimental. "Well… He does kind of look like that first bento you ever gave me back when we were children… How about Kishules? Y'know, KISH-ules…"

He was lucky that his wife WAS sentimental, otherwise she might have given him another Look. "It's perfect," she smiled, with misty eyes. "My little Kishules…" She tucked a bronze necklace around his chubby neck, sighing. Ryou looked around, needing to improvise a gift. He spied the clouds and thought of an idea.

"What are you doing, Ryou?" Miwa asked as Ryou began molding some clouds until a puffy white horse form appeared. He blew on it, and a tiny foal appeared in his hand, with a white body and red mane and tail.

"Its name is Masha," he sighed as the thing began snuggling up to baby Kishules in the crib, making continuous whinnying noises. He stretched. "Let's go to bed now; I'm tired…"

K…I…S…H…U…L…E…S

Late into the night, under the river Styx, in the underworld, an evil God, the brother of Ryou, plotted. He toyed with little figurines on a large table, looking up when two guys, supposedly his minions, hurried in.

They both had rather large, long ears. One was short, with honey-brown eyes and brown hair up in two short pigtails. The other was tall, with purple hair in one pigtail on the left side of his hair. His eyes were a scheming brown. The tall one was Pai; the short one Tart.

"You're here, Master Masaya," Pai observed.

"Yes, I'm here," he snapped. "Are THEY here?!"

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell me?!"

"We didn't know you were here yet!" Tart broke in. Masaya gave him a glare that shut him up. He left, grumbling about dealing with the two of them later.

The dark-haired man arrived in a room where three ladies were arguing amiably. The oldest-looking was named Sakura, the teenager-looking one Moe, and the youngest-looking, maybe five years old, was Heicha. Heicha was protectively clutching a hot pink pair of sunglasses and whining about it being hers.

"So, you're-" Masaya began, but Sakura cut him off with an impatient "Here, yes." He sighed. "Well, then you know of my concerns a to my brother and his wife having-"

"A big bundle of bother, yes," Moe concluded. "We know everything." He grit his teeth.

"Yes, I know you know everything. I'm worried abou-"

"Whether you're gonna succeed, yadda yadda; we know!" Heicha exclaimed, shortly thereafter jumping frantically up and down, as Moe had stolen the sunglasses.

"I KNOW YOU KNOW!" Masaya snapped. Heicha, who had reclaimed the glasses, dropped them in fear, tears pricking at her eyes. He put on his lady-killer smile, attempting to smooth his outburst over. He picked up the glasses, dusting them off. He handed them to Moe.

"Please, ladies, my fate rests in your palms, though I understand if you can't- Might I say you're looking lovely today…"

Moe awed at Sakura, who clucked her tongue but nodded anyway, relenting. Moe squealed and donned the glasses.

"In eighteen years to date from now

The planets will align, this we vow

You will take over Mt. Tokyo

Unleashing the titans upon your foe

But beware, of young Kishules

For if he shows to fight, you would fall to your knees

Your titan army would fearfully retreat

And you would have to admit defeat."

Masaya stared as the prophecy was finished, then left, his face a stony mask. After ranting and raving about how the brat would spoil his plans, he sent his two minions, Pai and Tart, off to kill the infant Kishules.

K…I…S…H…U…L…E…S

Well, that's done! Happy me, and hopefully, happy you. I hope you enjoyed the second chapter, and I hope it was different enough from the movie!

In the actual TMM:

Miwa: One of Ichigo's friends.

Sakura: Ichigo's mom.

Moe: Ichigo's other friend.

Heicha: Pudding's little sister.

Thing of the day I am not to do should I ever be in the TMM world:

I will not A Compare Moe to the one in the Three Stooges, and/or 2 Attempt to mow the lawn with her.

See yalls!

And yes, BTW, MashaMini Mew is now a horse, and red and white- Pink is just to girls for Kish.


	3. Kidnapped! Fed! Playtime!

HELLO I'M BACK

HELLO I'M BACK! TELL ALL UR FRIENDS!

Disclaimer: Hello. I am Reiko Yoshida. I own Tokyo Mew Mew. Now, excuse while I go take my insanity medication. DUH, OF COURSE I DON'T! YOU THINK KISH WOULD HAVE SUFFERED THAT MUCH IF I DID?! NO! HE WOULD RIDE IN A GILT CARRAIGE PULLED BY MASAYA AND HE WOULD BE WEARING RAGS AND FORCED TO EAT SLOP OFF THE GROUND AND ICHIGO WOULD BEG KISH FOR FORGIVENESS HOURLY!

This chappie dedicated to the death of my annoying spell check. Also to my loyal- hopefully- viewers and ONLY reviewers: Kougaismine4eva89, Michaiah, and Kisshu Neko. You guys rock!

K…I…S…H…U…L…E…S

Ryou was sound asleep when he woke to a crash. He saw up straight in bed, as did Miwa. They were quiet for a moment, and then the same thought struck each of them.

"The baby!"

They both ran to check on young Kishules, but by the time they'd reached their child's crib, all that was found was Masha struggling to climb out from underneath the overturned piece of furniture. Ryou felt a surge of anger, and whistled an ear- piercing whistle. A peaceful-looking man with long brown hair flew up in a hurry.

"Keichiro, someone's kidnapped my kid! Get the word out!" the blonde man urged. The winged messenger nodded.

"Right away!"

K…I…S…H…U…L…E…S

"He's HEAVYYYYYY!" Tart whined to Pai, barely managing to hold up his end of the blanket.

"No, he's not. The only reason he seems heavy is because he's thrashing about. The constant, sudden change in matter placement in the air is-"

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The two minions grimaced at the baby's loud wailing. When they finally landed, Tart shoved a bottle in his mouth, at which the baby proceeded to drink from.

"Can we kill 'im now? Can we, huh?"

"No; he has to drink every last bit-" Just as the bottle was almost drained, they hear distant muted voices. Pai glanced at the bottle, seemingly empty. "Ok, now…"

The two transformed into large serpents as Kishules dropped the bottle, sliding towards him menacingly. Just as a middle-aged couple came into view, the baby, with all the smugness of a class clown, grabbed the two scaly minions. He threw them here and tossed them there, tying them into a great big knot and flinging it like the hammer at the Olympics. A/N: Just had to put that in there…

The couple stared in astonishment at the baby, who was now grinning and laughing, waving bye-bye at the flying snakes. A/N: Sorry for interrupting again, but flying snakes?

"Shintaro, look… Look, the baby- He just-"

"Now, Maria, I know what you're thinking- We can't take that baby home-"

"But I've- We've- always wanted a baby!" She hurried over to Kishules and scooped him up, cooing softly. The little now demigod curled up inside the woman's arms, falling asleep.

Shintaro rubbed his neck. "Well, I guess we could…" He looked at the medal Kishules was wearing. "Hey, that's the symbol of the gods!"

"Oh, I just knew it… A precious gift from above- Our prayers have been answered," Maria sighed. Shintaro turned the medal over, eyeing the name etched on the back.

"Kishules… Hm… Kishules…"

K…I…S…H…U…L…E…S

AND SO THERE IS CHAPTER 3!

I am happy it is out. I hope you are happy too.

Thing of the day that I should never do should I happen to fall into the TMM universe:

Ichigo's cat form is not "cuter than her human form." So I should probably stop making Ryou kiss her every ten seconds because I get a kick out of it. It is also unwise to call up the fat cat that tried to bring him home to his mother. Because Kish will kill me. Ichigo also does not require a flea collar.

In the actual TMM:

Shintaro: Ichigo's dad

Maria: Some piano lady from the anime

BYE YALLS!


	4. I'm a Big Kid Now! Oh, Crud

**I AM SO SORRY!**

**I'm late in updating. There is no excuse for that! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! **

**Eh hem. Sorry. I've been reading a LEETLE too much Skip Beat! lately. Kyoko's starting to rub off on me.**

**Anyway, time for dedications; you know you love them!**

**First of all, the reviewers, who have put up with me and my laziness and non-updatingness! Safaia Bara, you rock! Michaia, you rock too! Kisshu Neko, you rock three! And Safaia Bara, you rock again, 'cause you reviewed twice! Michaia, you reviewed twice, you also rock again! Take-me-away-to-paradise, you rock as well, my friend! Helgapuff of Hegglepegglepuff, you, not so much... Just kidding. Just kidding! You rock too.**

**All of you are MUSHU! Which is an inside joke. Do not ask.**

**Also dedicated to Mary, who is suffering in San Jose right now... No offense to all you San-Jose-ians, she just doesn't wanna be there right now.**

**CURSE YOU SPELLCHECK! THAT IS IT! I AM GOING TO WORDPAD! AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!**

**One moment please... Here, enjoy this elevator music while you wait.**

**Ok, I'm back! Much better.**

**Ichigo: When am I coming in? I WANNA COME IN THE STORY!**

**Me: Keep yer tail on, sheesh.**

**Ichigo: But I don't have a-**

**Me: I can change that. RYOU!**

**Ichigo: GOODBYE! runs away**

**Me: That worked surprisingly well.**

**DISCLAIMER: Haven't you learned by now that I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew? Ok, seriously! If I owned it, why would I bother getting an account on a fanfiction website when I could just have put in the idea myself? Also, I would be famous. Which I'm not.**

**Yet.**

**Ok, enough of my rambling! I will end your suffering! On with the chapter!**

**K...I...S...H...U...L...E...S**

**His green hair flew in the breeze. His warm, golden eyes sparkled, more brilliant even than the sun that shone down upon him. His lithe legs pounded the earth as he ran. His white tunic, showing off part of his perfectly-sculpted chest, was as fresh and clean as if it had been woven only seconds before. This picture of perfection, every girl's dream-**

**A/N: OK, WHO LET THE FANGIRL IN HERE?!**

**The REAL STORY will now begin.**

**K...I...S...H...U...L...E...S**

**"Kish-Kishu-Kishules, slow down!"**

**"What? Can't hear you! I'm going too fast!"**

**"I said slow down!"**

**"What?"**

**"I said **_**slow dow**_**-"**

_**SQUEAL!**_

**The cart that had been being pulled by a freshly eighteen-year-old skidded to a stop as the young man, Kishules, halted in the center of town. Shintaro, who by now had more than a few gray hairs in the black crop atop his head, climbed out shakily. "Never mind."**

**Kishules rubbed the back of his neck embarrassedly. "Sorry, dad."**

**"It's okay. Actually, when Penelope twisted her ankle back there, I thought we would never make it. Thanks a lot, my boy." Shintaro ruffled his hair.**

**Kishules was tall and slightly gangly, a bit unusual by normal standards, but by no means un-handsome. His hair was slightly long, reaching the nape of his neck, and a sort of forest green. His eyes were a golden yellow. His ears were a bit large, but it wasn't too noticeable. Really, it wasn't like they were long and sticky-outy or anything, right? They had been when he was a baby, but he'd long since grown out of that.**

**He lifted the large stack of hay from the back of the cart. "You ready to-"**

**"No, no, not yet. I have to haggle with the man, first. Just set it down."**

**Kishules set it down as gently as he could, but the donkey sitting on the cart flew into the air a few feet anyway before bounding back onto the wood.**

**"And, Kishules, this time, please-"**

**"Yeah, yeah. Stay by the cart," he grumbled, crossing his arms.**

**"Good." Shintaro left to go talk to a store owner.**

**Kishules sighed, tapping his foot impatiently, until a discus suddenly landed by his sandaled feet. He picked it up and looked over to where a long-haired blonde was approaching.**

**"Hey, give it here- Oh, it's you," the teen said, stopping his jog. A few other kids appeared behind him. There was a quiet moment, and they pushed him forward. "Can we have the disc back?"**

**"Sure, but... Do you need an extra player?" Hope kindled in Kishules' mind.**

**There was another silence, followed by whispers of, "Come on, B.L.!" and, "Yeah, Blue Knight! Get the disc back!"**

**"Sorry, uh, we've already got... Seven, and we wanna keep it even."**

**"Oh- hey, seven isn't-"**

**"Loser!" Blue Knight grabbed the disc back and jogged of with his friends, the lot making stupid jokes about Kishules' name that are too lame and time-wasting and non-vital to the plot to mention.**

**"Man, that is so unfair," Kishules groaned, flopping back against the cart. "They shouldn't judge me like that! I'm a good guy, if they'd just give me a chance!"**

**A few minutes later... insert little timecard here**

**"I'm sorry! My son didn't mean to completely obliterate slash demolish the whole marketplace!"**

**K...I...S...H...U...L...E...S**

**I know, I know. Not one of my longer chapters, but at least I updated, right?**

**Thing of the day that I should never do should I happen to fall into the TMM universe:**

**I should NEVER introduce Lettuce to Red Lobster.**


End file.
